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China Care Families "Jialu" Dear Elizabeth, It's a beautiful Fall day here in Gainesville, Florida. The temperature has cooled, the humidity has temporarily abated and the sun is crisp. It's been exactly a month since Jialu (age 4.5) arrived in the U.S. and we're all amazed at how quickly she has adjusted to her new life. Of course, every day gets easier as we both adjust to the monumental life changes we've both been through.(I'm 43 and single and she spent her whole life in an orphanage with 1,000 other kids). The first week of being together was rocky for Jialu. She had only been told that morning that "mama is coming for you" and, when I arrived (I was alone and not in a group), she was terrified and screaming. |
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orphanage workers were very loving and present with her but, in the end,
I had to forcefully pick her up off the floor and carry her away over my
shoulder, while she screamed and kicked. I was sobbing myself. We bundled
in the taxi and went to the hotel, where she secluded into herself emotionally,
like a rock, and wouldn't interact with me for 5 days. She just sat and
stared listlessly. But, then something shifted in her, and she began having
screaming tantrums and I'd hold her in my arms and caress her heart and
tell her to "let it all out". She cried herself to exhaustion at least twice
a day. After each tantrum, she would wake up more fully and interact more
and show more of her personality. Over a week of these intense breakdowns,
her personality blossomed into being playful, curious and sparkly. She began
engaging with everyone around her. She woke up to her new life and wanted
to be a part of everything. It was a beautiful unfolding to witness.
Over this month of being home, we struggled for the first two weeks with daily tantrums as she learned for herself what was expected of her in this new homelife. As a single mom who works full-time, Jialu is in pre-school 7 hours/day. She loves it. She loves being with other kids in a structured environment. She's gained 4 pounds and much muscle tone. She's happy and laughs constantly. She hasn't had a tantrum in almost 2 weeks (knock on wood) and is eating well. Many people have described her to me as a "Shining Light". I feel blessed to have her in my life. For us, bonding has not been an issue at all. She held my hand in the taxi driving away from the orphanage and has essentially never let go. She knows I'm her mama and trusts me. I was prepared for the worst but feel like I received the best possible. Thank you to ChinaCare for helping make that happen, for both of us. Sincerely, Julia Gress |
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